Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wednesday March 25





I should have updated last night but I was just too tired. Please forgive me.

Yesterday morning dad was about the same. And when I went back after lunch he seemed about the same. But before I could leave the hospital his nurse called me on my cell phone to say they needed me to come back to sign a consent form.......he needed to go back to surgery. This totally freaked me out. I make a mad dash back to ICU........

The nurse said that the incision from his surgery was opening up (he had been stapled) and he needed to go back into surgery to get that fixed. Then I got a call from the doctor asking for permission to put in a feeding tube while dad was in surgery. This freaked me out even more.

Dad was in surgery less than an hour. The doctor opened up the old incision cleaned everything up again and put in/on something called "mesh". This means that dad basically has an open wound and they are going to let it heal from the inside out. A feeding tube was also placed into dad's stomach.

After the surgery the doctor came to talk to me. Dr B says there is no reason why dad won't walk out of the hospital in great shape, as long as that is what dad wants to do. I then told the doctor that I didn't know if dad had the will to live. It hasn't been a year since mom died and I know he misses her so much. The doctor said that if dad wants to die he will die. Dr B said that the mind is a powerful thing. If dad has the will to live he will, but if not he will die.

I told the doctor that we found out last March 13th that mom had cancer and would die and that she passed less than 2 months later on May 3rd (which happens to be Dr B's wedding anniversary). And that this year I brought dad into the ER on March 16th.

While I thought I had given this information to the doctor before he said he didn't know. But he was glad I told him because that was information that he needed to know. Dr B said we really wouldn't know about dad's will to live until we get him off the vent. And thanks to yesterday's surgery it will be another couple of days before they can try to get dad off the vent.

::sigh::

We working and getting some baby steps forward and now we are basically to square one. It feels like we are a little behind the square. Like we have to take a few steps to get up to square one.

Keeping praying for daddy and me.

Kathy

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